new blog address!

We (ok, just me.. there is no we) have moved!

new blog..

http://itsstilljill.wordpress.com/

see you there...

xoxox

faith or fear?

how do we gain faith?
how do we gain fear?

what do you do when one takes over?
too much faith can lead to being unrealistic.

too much fear can lead to fate not happening.

what the hell do you do when a situation is totally out of your hands?
you choose.. faith or fear, right?

how the hell do you choose?

the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is realistically impossible to get to.
does that mean you dont try to get to the end of the rainbow?

faith would try and get to the end, to find that pot of gold, until all efforts had been exhausted, there were NO more options, and then faith still wouldnt believe there was NO way to get to the pot of gold. faith would keep going back to try again, for an endless amount of time, no matter the obstacles, and always have in the back of its mind, that the pot of gold would somehow, some way be reached.

MLK said "faith is taking the first step when you cant see the whole stairway"

fear would not even bother taking the first step to the other side of the rainbow, knowing realistically, it was unreachable. why bother, it's an unreachable goal, there is a possibility of getting hurt on the way trying.

to keep it balanced, faith needs fear, and visa versa.
but how do you decide which to let lead?
fear needs to trust faith, but fear is POWER FULL, and its no easy task.

dear fear,
i love you, can we please just stand on the first step for a while? we dont ever have to go up the stairs, just please take the first step with me.

love,
faith.

if only it were that easy.



faith in love is power full, but does fear trump love? will fear eventually win? is there anyone out there that would say love can honestly conquer all?

decisions

i've got the world at my FINGERTIPS right now..
i'm standing on a road that forks infront of me
about a thousand different ways.

none of the paths have instructions, or guarentee
of how things will turn out.

i wish i could see them on google earth
see where they lead.

when the door to SH trucking closed,
a million more opened..

if i had a thousand years to live,
i'd try each door,
just to see what each is like.

over the next few weeks
i'll sit at the forks in the road,
weighing options and what i think of possible outcomes..

i'm excited in a way.
starting over of sorts.

anyone can start over,
its never too late.


xoxo

today i am thankful for

ACCEPTANCE
TRUST
UNDERSTANDING
COMFORT
HONESTY
CONNECTION
UNCONDITIONAL
PATIENTS
TIME
CONTENTMENT
FRIENDSHIP

AND SOO MUCH MORE..

I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH U MEAN 2 ME.


THANK YOU!

XOXO

brain block!!!!

i must have a MILLION things i want to say
scream
yell
just get them out..

but i cant..
type, backspace, type, backspace...
grrrrrr.

writing here is helpfull a lot of the times
i read what i write and it sometimes solves the issue
just reading it back.. i get it.. or think of it a little different.

but i'm at a loss for words..
blogblock RO calls it
maybe thats what it is..


anyway.. i hope the block ends soon
i need to get some stuff out


xoxo

4 u

it feels good to feel good

the sky seems brighter,
the grass greener,
waking up in the morning is a joy,
because i am looking forward to the new day.

i look for the positive in a negative situation,
and cant wipe the smile off my face,

i want to share it with everyone,
but there is no way to explain it.
there is not a single word that i can think of
to explain,
this feeling.

whatever it is, its good,
better than good..
fluttery
shakey
tingly
heart pounding
good

i almost feel as if i am going to wake up any minute,
thinking i just had an AMAZING dream,
and try desperatly to go back to sleep.

if its a dream, i hope i never wake up.