acceptance

thats the subject for the day.
i mentioned it in yesterdays post but thought it deserved its own.

this is new to me
acceptance the reason
for me being so shy?
afraid to say or do the wrong thing
look stupid,
find the need to insert my foot in my mouth
when meeting new people.
it makes perfect sense.
acceptance is what my life revolves around,
always has, starting with daddy,
always wanting to be his perfect little girl,
working in the workshop with him at 5
i remember trying to hit the nail just right,
just like him, perfect the first time.
i'm now 26 and still i wont curse or so much as say ass in front of him.
still i look for acceptance.

i am always me,
take me as i am
there isnt much to me, and what you see is what you get
but sometimes,
ok, most of the time,
the fear of not being accepted
gets in the way of me.
maybe i dont always speak my mind,
or maybe i keep my opinions to myself
but im still me.

the people that matter
have already ACCEPTED
but every so often the fear creeps back in
and i need to be reminded.
THANK YOU for the patients
it is greatly appreciated.

but here is the question..
i'm sure on some level most people worry about acceptance
but how many, and on what level?

also, i am going to work on WHY it is so important to me.
i had a very good childhood
was a lucky kid
WHY do i have the fear of not being accepted?
WHY does it stop me from doing things i want to do?
i need to overcome this.
i know i can do it
its just a matter of time.


until next time
xoxo