7 years

yesterday my sister and i
gave my mother
her seven year medallion
7 years sober

i could not speak
infront of all those people
at the meeting on the beach
i just stood behind my sister as she spoke
a day i will probally regret
not saying a word

i remember her first day of sobriety
i had a 1 month old daughter
mom came out of her room that morning
in a hospital gown
bandages covering her left arm
neck to wrist

the truck flipped and slid over a mile
my mom's arm scraped against the concrete
after the window broke
airbag burns all over neck and chest
glass still in some wounds from being pulled from the windshield
dont drink and drive people
she fortunatly did not kill anyone

i was mad
because nobody called in the night
to tell me she was in the hospital
how selfish i was
only 7 years ago

she started to attend AA
im sure it was hard
but she never let us know it
she stayed strong for everyone else
im sure she cried at night
or when she was by herself

i have learned a lot from the program (AA)
-one day at a time-
they tell themselves "im not going to drink today"
one day at a time
i used this to quit smoking
everyday i would wake up
"im not going to smoke today"
before i knew it, it had been over a month
but still everyday
im not going to smoke today
one day at a time

-K.I.S.S-
keep it simple stupid
when things get crazy
just keep it simple
one thing at a time
i use this every day

these next two
i just learned over this past weekend
and hope to start applying them

-let go and let god-
i am not religious by most standards
whoever your god or "HIGHER POWER" is
just let go and let god
the rest is in his or her hands
in my case i believe its her
i just need to learn to trust her
with the things that are too big
for me to handle alone

-there is only one day that matters-
TODAY!

i am not in the program
i was lucky enough not to inherit the disease of addiction
but thank god for it
without it i would not have my mom
or sister
and i will continue to use pieces of the program
to make me a better me

congradulations mom
even though i could not say it outloud
i am proud of you