has nothing to do with ro but i really enjoyed this..written by patti davis

When Celebs Abuse Rehab
I never went to a drug rehabilitation facility, but I should have.

May 30, 2007 - Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab. Back? Wasn’t she just there? Fellow bad girl Britney Spears wasn’t in long enough for her hair to grow back. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton zipped right by rehab and picked up the GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL card.


In the last year or so, rehab has become the ultimate publicity tool, a brief break from the glitzy life, a chance to burnish one’s reputation. (The bad girls aren’t alone in this regard; see Mel Gibson, Isaiah Washington.) What we’ve forgotten is that rehab is supposed to result in rehabilitation. Hence the name. Rehabilitating one’s life, when it’s broken and damaged, is not just a weekend stay.
I never went to rehab. I should have. I plunged willingly, desperately, into addiction at the pliable age of 15. My poison, my love, was speed. It came in pretty colored tablets called amphetamines. Over the years it changed to capsules—some clear with orange and black granules inside, some pure black. Like the devil. Like hell.
Like the hell I lived in well into my 20s. Cocaine replaced pills at some point. But that wasn’t a big change. I was on the same rushing road—the road that too often leads to a fiery blinding end, way before your years would justify death by anything other than a speeding car or a bullet.
I quit because I decided not to die. I quit all alone—the same way I started. I quit in spite of long nights when the taste of cocaine would come up in my throat—drifting up out of my cells, I guess—and I wanted it so badly my nails dug into my palms until they drew blood. I quit by trying to live inside a body that was so much older than my years—I could actually feel my blood, my organs lurching along, almost like they were asking what they were supposed to do without the jacked up jolt of the drugs they’d gotten used to for so many years. My thoughts, my head, my dreams … black doesn’t even begin to describe that territory. For over a decade, I’d only known the world through the blur of speed.
It was the late '70s. There probably was rehab in some form, but I didn’t know, and I didn’t search. I wish so badly now that I had been able to go into a facility like the ones that abound now. An environment dedicated to pushing me into wellness. An environment with people who had already stumbled down the road that was before me, people who could teach me, console me, shake me up. People who knew my excuses, my rationalizations, my manipulations even before they came out of my mouth.
It makes me angry when I see how the opportunity of being in rehab can be abused as nothing more than a slick PR move. A brief retreat from the paparazzi. How lucky these celebrities are to be able to go to one of these facilities (which are not cheap) and to benefit from the wisdom and help that waits behind the gates.
I struggled for years to learn on my own what someone like Lohan could learn in months, if she were willing to do so. Of course, that learning also has to be followed by practice. Every day. Forever. But it can start in rehab.
Abusing ourselves with any kind of substance abuse is a violation of the gift of life—it isn’t what any of us were put here for. And treating rehab like it’s just a strategic career move is practically blasphemous.
I imagine the other people in these rehab facilities, watching a celebrity breeze in for a week or so, then leave. I imagine their anger—actually, I don’t have to imagine it, I feel it, too. It’s hard to fix the places where you’re broken, hard to wrestle with your demons. If you don’t take the help that’s available along the way, there will come a day when you are left all alone with demons that have grown so big and so vicious that you can’t defeat them. A lot of people know that and commit themselves to the hard and serious work of rehab. They're the ones who won't have to face the bleak dark road that waits for those celebrities who believe bright lights define them.
Davis, the daughter of Nancy and Ronald Reagan, is a writer based in Los Angeles.
© 2007 Newsweek, Inc.

oh ro, you'll be missed

i had a feeling last wed.
that would be it
split screen made me sick
"go to commercial"
joy and i in unison
i wanted to reach through the screen
embrace ro
choke eh.

ro says she is ok now
i believe her
time with family heals

and on we go
what will the next adventure be
whatever it is
i will follow
support
admire
as always

here they are

my new tattoos...... the "peace" one is the one i was describing before....the other is on my wrist...

happy mothers day to all...

xoxo

tattoo

i had planned on ro's face with her signature under it
but with respect i asked her first
(that was the question she answered on rosie.com)
she said to ge one that said peace instead..
i hope she didnt think i was crazy....

so my mind started going in all sorts of directions
trying to think of a way to put "peace" on me somewhere
she suggested it so i have to somehow...
i didn't like the common peace symbol so that was out...

so here's what i came up with......
(im getting the first one tonight)

on the top of my back (shoulderblade area)

my daughters hand giving the "peace" sign
(wich actually came from a picture that kira said
"this is for rosie" when i took it..and threw up the sign)
with a banner above and below that says
"dream it to believe it"
wich is a saying that ro says all the time..
i think she got it from dr. phill originally
but it really has changed the way i think of a lot of things

so that is number one...i'll post pics tomorrow


the other one i'll get in a few weeks

a peace symbol with the gay pride flag on one side
and the american flag on the other (inside the circle)
i'll get that one on my ankle..

see you tomorrow with pics..


xoxo

on the road

summer blog on the road
explain in 200 or less
why they should come to you

and i can't think of a damn thing to say...

ill come up with something.
that would be amazing..
jahero pulling up at my house..
i think i'd die

i shouldn't get excited
but its hard not to
just the thought of it..

i would have beer
chocolate
big turkey legs
and cold pizza..
lol

sounds like an interesting combo
jahero is an interesting combo
funny..
and addicting
i wonder if my addiction to ro
is anything like a drug addiction...

summer blog tour
wow

i feel a strong connection comming..



xoxo

she answered me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i asked a question on rosie.com and she answered.........................



i'm SOOOOO excited.... just had to share...



xoxo

scared

i am scared....

too many things to list

i dont like this feeling
the unknown..

its like there's a tornado in my brain..
too much noise..

if the wind would just stop,
i could write about it..
maybe feel better


maybe later
xoxo

spingle

spine tingling
hand shaking
heart pounding
SPINGLE

a connection was made today
what we are all looking for i believe
to connect somehow with a similar soul

i hope this is the beggining of something lifelong
not just a one time deal
i am hoping for a lot i know
but if i have no hope
there can be no outcome

"u must dream it to believe it"
"always go for it"