this is what ro's letter on the bottom of the page was supposed to look like

ro
u dont know me
yet i feel like i know you so well
there are so many things i want
to tell you
u seem so easy to talk to
its your eyes
so honest
open

your eyes are an open door to your soul
i can see
i sometimes wonder if others see what i see
if they feel the same connection
and yearn to tell u
to shake your hand
and say thank you
thank you for being you
for putting yourself out there
for the joy of others
putting yourself on the line
so that others can see
see who you are
and what you stand for

maybe others dont feel this way
could i be the only one?
i doubt it
but i doubt that they feel the same

when i look at you i see
a MOTHER so strong and stable
able to take care of and love unconditionally
a WIFE so beautiful able to open your heart
and let someone else in and never let her go
a DAUGHTER scared and unsure at times
needing the mother that was taken away from you
so early
a FRIEND so loyal and fun
a BUISNESS WOMAN so smart
an ARTIST so talented
and a WOMAN
all the above qualities and more
put into the shape of YOU

you are a role model and make me proud
to be all of the above

i await the day when i can tell you
all these things to your face
until then, an online blog that you
will probably never see will do.

xoxo
jill

what's important anyway?

i ask myself this almost daily..

im at a fork
on the road i call life

if i stay straight
and continue the path i am on
there is a decent pay check
a way of living that i have grown a custom to
nice house
$ in the bank
but with those things does not come happiness
its lonely
my father and my step-mother
dont give a shit about my daughter
not even a card for easter
or ever an outing for ice cream
like grandparents should
they have more money than god
but i sometimes wonder if they have hearts
kira would be happy to play a simple game of go fish
but nothing



now i have a choice to take the fork
3 hours east to sunny ft lauderdale
where my mother,step-father,sister,and grandmother are
thats family
they know what quality time means
to love rather than buy
my mother
living 3 hours away
has come just to spend the afternoon
cuddle up with kira and read a book
kira's eyes light up as soon as she sees her
"TUTU" she calles her
hawian for grandma
no
we are not hawian
but mom thought it was cute
so for 7 years now
tutu it is


so that is the question
we all need money to live
but the quality of living
that is our choice
so we may have to work harder
a little more hours
the pay off
even if not in dollars and cents
is well worth it

so there ya have it
we have chosen the fork
deerfield,ft lauderdale,miami
not sure which one yet
all three beautiful
full of yellow
sun
family
peace
of mind that is
knowing we are doing all we can
to teach kira love
the best gift we as parents can give

sad

i am sad today
32 dead in va.
things like that shouldn't happen
there is nothing i can do
just one person
but it is sad

i still have ro's birthday presant
sitting on my desk
along with a letter
and an offer of some sort
i am afraid to send it
in fear that she wont get it
sad

there are people starving
and i am sad that i cant get a
letter to ro
that in itself is sad

i am a lucky person really
i have clothes on my back
a roof over my head
food on my table
a husband that loves me
a beautiful daughter
and i am alive
but i am sad

how can i know and realize all these
great things in my life
and still be sad

makes no sence to me
but i am

sad

introductions

this should have been the first post
but i got ahead of myself....

welcome to my blog..
i am a 25 year old married, mother of one.
i live in florida, and hope to one day move up north

i love my husband, but i like women too.
i love my 6 1/2 year old daughter, but she at times drives me crazy.
i have a best friend that lives way too far away
i am not close to either of my parents yet i talked to them every day
i am not open about most things and find it hard to talk about anything personal

this blog is a big step
let thoughts and feelings out for once
instead of holding them in
kind of like theropy in the keyboard

my name is jill
husband is tim
daughter kira

hopefully future posts will not be so cunfusing that they are not understandable
but we shall see..
as i explained before
i am not a good speller
and my grammar sucks

i am not looking for fights or arguments with anyone
here i will simply state how i feel
if you dont like it
thats ok
thats why this is my blog

feel free to ask me anything,
i will do my best to answer

some will hate me
some may love me

either way is fine with me

but i need a place to let out all the shit in my head
i hope this is it

xoxo

ro's contract

i wonder if she will renew
i dont think so
so much shit since the view
she doesn't deserve in my opinion
all the bs

people r so hard on her
just for her opinion
i take it personal
all these morons bashing her
like she is my sister or something
i dont even know her past the celebrity
nobody does really
but it still hurts me

i am proud to defend ro
(i call her ro cause i read that she
does not like "rosie")
there i go
off subject again
ill get better at this writing thing
as time goes by

i hope the family decides
no to renew
i will miss ro on tv
but she deserves a break
to think freely
without being bashed
to enjoy her children
while they are still young

i hope she moves
to miami 4 good

sun
doll fins
paint
sea
peace





xoxo

4/16/07 "the view"

bill m today..
holy shit!

i have never seen or heard
him before.
totally agree with all he said
i will now watch his show
love his views

i wonder if he will get in trouble
for what he said

it is scarry to see people
watching what they say
i hate it..
what is freedom of speech anyway?

first post...im nervous almost

so this came to me yesterday
a way to let others know what
i am going through, my journey
so to speak...

most i talk to dont get it..
whats the big deal about rosie
they ask me.....

theres some sort of connection
i cant explain..
i know were not related
and im not the type to go
gaga over celebrities
spingle
as she would say
when i look into her eyes
in a picture or on tv.
like i already know her..
a long lost friend that i have actual memories
with..
she doesn't even know i exist, how can i
feel this way?
well, that is what i am trying to figure out.

maybe you can help me,
strangers reading my innermost thoughts and
feelings.......

i will warn you now,
i cant spell
and im sure that my grammar is not correct
if u dont like it, im sorry, but that is me
if you dont like ro, or dont agree with her,
that is your right, and your opinion, but this is not the place
for you....
if you're looking for a fight, this is not the place for you either.
your comment will simply be deleted.....

with that said
i look forward to blogging with
you..............


xoxo